Long Distance Relationship Opposite Schedules: Do this
Long Distance Relationship with opposite schedules! Dealing with jet lag! This universal problem that blocks you from spending enough time with your partner.
All LDR couples have experienced it, at least at the beginning.
- Some play at the « easy » level with 2 to 3 hours of time difference.
- Others in « intermediate » mode and approaching 7 to 8 hours (including myself)
- And the warriors in « expert » mode who are over 10 hours.
Waking up in the middle of the afternoon for your partner, and saying « Good night » at 5pm. It’s always a bit weird!
And it’s especially annoying because… well, you can’t do anything. It’s like the rain, you have to live with it!
So what ?
Are you really going to let the Sun and the rotation of the Earth put obstacles in the wheels of your wonderful love adventure?
In this article, I’m going to give you a practical and easy to use tool to help you get organized and spend more time with your partner without upsetting the solar system.
This tool is a LDR planner!
I’m also going to give you a little homemade trick that allows you to spend an extra 2 hours with your partner each day.
I’ve never seen this technique anywhere and yet it is super effective!
I’ll explain it to you right now.
Let’s get started.
For an ever more fulfilling long distance relationship, you can read these articles:
How to know someone in distance with 35 LDR Questions
Are you bored at a distance? Here are the 3 best ways to break the routine
19 tips I wish I’d had when I started my long-distance relationship
Why create a schedule? (Pros and cons)
A common schedule is to start a video game in « Easy » mode.
It allows you to have a clear vision on your rhythm of life but also on that of your partner.
The idea is to create your own schedule on a board or slate that you will hang up at home.
There are many more advantages than disadvantages to creating your own LDR schedule!
It’s already useful in a traditional relationship, so imagine in your case, that of a long distance relationship!
Advantages of a LDR schedule
1) You spend more time with your partner
Firstly by preparing your schedule. And then with the time it will save you! In the blink of an eye, you will have a clear vision of the times when you are both free. And this time saved, you will be able to devote it to your partner.
Yours problems in your long distance relationship with opposite schedules will disappear!
2) You will no longer forget an appointment or a call
You’ll be better organized. And week after week, you’ll know each other’s lives inside out. What could be more horrible than seeing 4 missed calls on your phone and saying « Shit, I forgot the appointment »?
3) You strengthen your couple and your relationship
This schedule is 100% dedicated to your relationship. It belongs to you. Creating it means solidifying your relationship by giving it legitimacy and taking 100% ownership of it.
And the great time you’re going to spend together to create it too.
4) You decrease the % of cancelled or missed appointments
By creating this schedule, you give your word. You commit yourself to respect it. In this way, you are making a 100% emotional commitment to another person. This will give you a huge motivational boost to keep your commitments.
Because making an oral appointment before the end of a call and making an appointment by marking it in your common schedule 4 days before, makes all the difference in remembering a call.
Disadvantages of a LDR schedule
1) « It takes time »
Yes, a little. With Kyomi, it took us 25 minutes before we had a schedule we were happy with. You’ll find out a little later in the article!
And it was anything but boring! On the contrary, it’s kind of fun to project yourself and put plans in place. And the time you save in the end is more than worth the initial investment. It’s clearly an activity I could add to my list of 105 LDR ideas.
2) « I don’t know if I’ll be able to stick to it »
You have to look at creating an LDR schedule as a test.
At best, you’ll stick to it and improve your long-distance relationship considerably
At worst, you will have shared a fun time organizing yourself with your partner.
Keep in mind that this kind of tool helps prevent your motivation from running away.
And if you’re having trouble fitting in your schedule, then do the opposite! Adapt your schedule to your life. That’s how it should work.
3) « It doesn’t solve the problem of jet lag »
Yes. Nothing will solve this problem. But it is going in that direction. You have to look at the creation of an LDR as a pill that eases the pain.
It’s up to us to adapt, and the most powerful tool to combat jet lag is a schedule.
Now, if you’re looking for a quick fix, well, you’re going to be disappointed but there is no such thing. Instead, ask yourself if long distance relationships are worth it, given your situation.
How to create your own schedule
The first step is to talk about it with your partner. You both have to agree, otherwise it doesn’t make sense!
Tell him/her that you want to try this and that it sounds cool! Think of it as a fun time to share together and not the chore of filling out a tax form.
Where to find a whiteboard?
Next, it’s up to you to go to the store and buy a small chalkboard. You can also take a slate, but personally I prefer white lacquered boards.
Otherwise you can order them directly on Amazon. I have a model and pens like this one, and they fit perfectly:
1 month or 1 week planning?
Make a weekly long distance schedule spread over 7 days.
You need to be able to see the hours of each day!
You can take inspiration with mine:
I put the days of the week on the left and the hours on top.
The black numbers correspond to my time zone (in France) and in blue to Kyomi’s (in Peru)
Fill in your schedule
Here we are! You’ve bought your board and you’re FaceTime’ing with your boyfriend or girlfriend.
Here are the essential steps to fill in your schedule.
Start with the basic structure (as in the previous image).
Then, continue by filling in your schedule with your unavailabilities:
- 1) Start by putting the hours your partner sleeps (in green in my case)
- 2) Then, put YOUR regular unavailabilities, which come up every week. For example: your working hours, your sport session, and possibly your meal times. The important thing is that these are one-time events. For example: an appointment with a professional (in red in my case)
- 3) To avoid calculation problems, add your partner’s time zone at the top (as in the previous image)
At this point, you won’t need to erase each week the items you put in your table.
- 4) Then, put (always in a different color) the times when you are unavailable, but which are specific to that week. For example: an exceptional appointment, a weekend at a friend’s house, an event in your city… in short, moments in your life that you will not do again next week.
Then, ask your partner to do the same. You will fill your table with their unavailability.
Small technique to have a better visibility: use a common color for step 4 (blue in my case).
The result should look like this :
- 5) We arrive at the last step: those where you have a clear vision of the moments when you are both free to share several hours together, doing a LDR activity or watching a movie about long distance relationships (in light blue in my case)
Add a time slot dedicated to the two of you and validate it together.
In our case with my LDR girlfriend, we set up two appointments: Thursday the 13th between 9 and 11 pm and Sunday the 16th from 9 pm to… until I fell asleep!
The advantage of this technique is that you don’t have to erase everything each week: only what you added in step 4 and 5.
How to use your Long Distance Relationship Schedule
You have to update it every week but you will hardly have to change anything. We did it on Saturday or Sunday.
Only the blue boxes in our case and the date number.
If you can’t change it at the same time as your partner, send him your changes in writing and a picture of your new schedule!
All you have to do is set up some calls or FaceTime. That’s all!
My opinion about virtual schedule
We’ve already tried using Google Calendar for a while.
But I’ll be honest, it didn’t work well for us.
And here’s the main reason why we quickly gave up on the idea:
The online schedule wasn’t engaging enough
It was just one application among many. And often, the schedule was rarely updated. A big drawback is that you can’t set it to adapt to your partner’s time zone. It made our life difficult!
Attention, we do not say that a virtual calendar does not solve the problems in a long distance relationship with opposite schedules!
Just that it didn’t work for us.
There are still some advantages:
The real time change to alert your partner, the alerts and the reminders on the phone are really practical. We are sure not to forget anything.
But for us, it was not enough. The method was not adapted.
It’s up to you to see what works best for you!
My techniques to adapt to the jet lag
I’m putting here a few techniques that I use and that are useful.
They are not directly related to the creation of a schedule but I am sure you will appreciate them!
1) Don’t ever get confused with the time difference again
On your phone, you can add the local time of any country. You avoid the calculations of time change that give you a horrible headache.
Pretty cool, right? Dig into your phone settings to find the option! And if you want other handy tools and resources for your LDR in general, I’ve listed over 30 ideas here.
2) Save an extra hour or two of time together.
This tip will appeal to LDR couples like mine who have a 7 hour time difference or more! But it is hardly applicable to all LDR couples. Let me explain.
The principle is to shift your day by an hour (or half an hour).
Let me explain:
Leo who lives in France is awake between these hours: 8 a.m. until 11.pm.
Kyomi, in Peru, is awake between these hours (local time: France): 3p.m until 6a.m.
The time when we are both awake at the same time is therefore from 3p.m. to 11p.m.
That is 8 hours.
Now I will decide that every day (or some days) I will get up 1 hour later and go to bed 1 hour later.
Kyomi will do the opposite: she will get up 1 hour earlier and go to bed 1 hour earlier too.
This gives us :
Leo: 9 a.m. until Midnight
Kyomi : 2p.m. until 5a.m.
The time when we are both awake at the same time is from 2p.m. to midnight.
That’s 10 hours
Not bad, right?
If shifting your life by 1 hour is too extreme, you can reduce it to half an hour and not do it every day.
There is a limit though: if you have obligations at the time your partner wakes up (or falls asleep), you won’t be able to put that saved time to good use.
3) Over time, you will get used to the time difference.
You will know when your partner wakes up or goes to bed, what time he or she eats, what is the best time to talk…
Don’t underestimate your brain, it can do amazing things!
Otherwise, if you are still struggling with these calculations, you can use the Time and Date website. The site is a bit old-fashioned on computer but its features are great!
But it is still a good technique for your long distance relationship with opposite schedules
Now it's your turn !
Long Distance Relationship with opposite schedules can be controlled
You have all the cards in hand to improve your LDR.
And you can start right now!
- Call your partner and suggest this idea (you can even send him this article).
- Order or buy a whiteboard or slate with some markers.
- Spend time together making it, embellishing it, putting it in your image… so that in the end you have a functional and stylish board!
And in the worst case, if this method doesn’t work… well, you will have tried to launch a project together in order to strengthen your LDR.
You’ll have learned a few tips on how to deal with jet lag in a long-distance relationship.
Nothing too serious! Only positive things.
That’s what we want to spread on the blog!
That’s our philosophy.
I hope this article has helped you thrive better in your long distance relationship with opposite schedules!
Does the time difference keep ruining your relationship?
We can talk about it together and find a tailor-made solution!
I offer FREE coaching sessions on My Sweet LDR.
Places are limited to 3 per month.
Book your free call by clicking here and let’s discuss your situation together so I can give you my best advice and a detailed action plan.
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We are Léo & Kyomi, a French-Peruvian couple in a long distance relationship since 2019. Welcome to this blog entirely dedicated to this way of life.
We decided to create
My Sweet LDR
to help people who want to live their relationship serenely and who don’t know how to do it.
To read our entire story
you can click just here !