My 3 effective methods to stop being bored in a LDR
Have you ever wondered how to not get bored in a long distance relationship or if boredom was inevitable?
If it was like the final judgment in the Terminator saga: an inevitable ending?
There has never existed and there will never exist a couple that will have the solution so that routine and boredom never try to settle their relationship.
It may even already be there, that horrible boredom. Comfortably installed between you and your partner.
It’s easy enough to tell.
Your conversations last a little less time. You just play the same games, watch the same movies, do the same activities. Over and over again, day after day.
The worst part is that if you accept this situation, your partner will point it out to you.
If he’s in a good mood, he’ll spend hours Googling to find a solution. If not, he will hold you responsible.
And you will hold the distance responsible for all your misfortunes.
Not only are you wrong, but you are not solving anything. Since the distance is there and you can’t act on it right away to make it disappear.
So what can you do? What can you do about it?
How do you prevent your long distance relationship from becoming boring and worse than a statistics class at 8am in the middle of winter?
In this article, I will give you 3 methods that will help you break the routine, and stop being bored in your long distance relationship.
To solve this problem, you need to know where it comes from.
For an ever more fulfilling long distance relationship, you can read these articles:
Understand where the problem comes from
How to not get bored in a long distance relationship?
Before trying to solve the problem of boredom in your long distance relationship, you need to know where it comes from.
This step is essential.
Not doing it is exactly like draining the water from a boat instead of plugging the hole to save it from sinking.
It’s endless and your chances of success are close to 0. Just like water seeping into your boat, routine will follow the same path to make itself comfortable in your long distance relationship.
In general, long distance relationship getting boring because of 3 main reasons:
- The distance that limits the possibility of activities to do
- Lack of involvement of one (or both) people in the relationship
- Strong emotions are harder to live with
You feel like you’re reading Chinese?
Don’t panic, I’ll explain it all to you. Let’s start with the first: your ability to adapt to distance
1) ldr boredom: "At a distance, it's compulsory to be bored. I never have any ideas"
Yes, distance limits possibilities.
No, it doesn’t destroy them.
In fact, you can do most of them. They just become virtual.
- A candlelit restaurant becomes a video call
- A thrill day at the amusement park now comes with an AirBNB experience
- Board games are inevitably associated with the computer
- Etc etc
The only activities that are really impossible to implement are those that require physical contact such as dancing or team sports.
In 2021, websites and opportunities are multiplying faster than rabbits in a backyard.
The next time your partner suggests an activity, think about how to make it happen.
You’ll find that in most cases, it’s within reach!
Whether it’s doing a puzzle, going to a casino, attending a concert, learning a skill, reading a book, scaring yourself… there’s a good chance it’s possible thanks to the internet.
2) "There is a mind-blowing difference in involvement in my long distance relationship"
Both a problem for traditional couples and couples in long distance relationships, the difference in involvement can be fatal.
In France, it is responsible for 22% of divorces. Yes, it’s serious!
A horrible vicious circle that pushes you to… do nothing new:
- If you are more involved than your partner, you will not last more than a few months without getting tired of it (and you will be completely right)
- If you are the one who lacks involvement, you never propose anything new.
And your long distance relationship becomes boring…
In both cases, the suffering is there.
You are on the front line, without a helmet and without a weapon to defend yourself.
The worst part is that it’s so easy to make excuses. Distance is in the crosshairs every time.
It is common to see that people who lack investment feel they are not ready for a relationship.
If you or your partner are experiencing your first long distance relationship, it is possible that this problem will appear. Bringing with it boredom.
The best way to solve this problem in your LDR is to talk about it. There is no quick fix.
Communication is the key.
So call your partner and talk about it.
Be honest and say what you feel inside. You are a human being and if your partner cares about you, he or she will understand and help you.
3) ldr boredom "I'm emotionally bored and bored with my life"
Everyone agrees that long distance relationships are more difficult than traditional relationships.
Have you ever wondered why?
I know what you’re going to say: because of the distance, the lack of the other person is multiplied tenfold (whether it is physical or psychological).
You are right. But what is the deep reason behind it? And why long distance relationship getting boring?
Do you have an idea?
It is the lack of emotional stimulation.
A classic couple can when they want to experience strong emotions, almost instantly:
- By tickling each other until they are breathless
- By startling each other while hiding behind a door
- By having a pillow fight
- Pretending to fight
- Having wild sex in a hurried and unexpected way
It’s as if your partner is giving you an instant shot of adrenaline and dopamine, straight into your vein.
In all of these situations, emotional engagement is extremely powerful.
Because you are experiencing situations that are out of the ordinary, your heart speeds up and your emotional stimulation explodes.
When you are thousands of miles away from each other, this stimulation is more difficult to achieve. The screen that is your computer is a big part of that.
Does plumbing speak to you?
Let’s take this example: between a 50-centimeter diameter pipe and a 5-centimeter diameter pipe, the water flow will be far from the same. A volume 10 times greater will pass through the first pipe. And your shower will be more pleasant.
So when your emotional stimulation is blocked by a 5 centimeter hose, you’re at a disadvantage.
That’s why it’s easier to get bored in an LDR and why they are considered an extreme situation.
The simplest technique that even my 9 year old nephew can do is surprises.
Discovering an unexpected package, receiving an email containing a gift certificate, opening the door to the delivery man who brings you your favorite meal…
Surprise your partner!
Make him live magical moments so that he falls asleep at night wondering why he is so lucky to have you in his life.
Now that you understand better where boredom in your LDR comes from, I’ll give you 3 tips to answer the question « How to stop being bored in a long distance relationship ».
All these tips are 100% original and exclusive. You won’t find them anywhere else, because Kyomi and I created them.
The results have been great, since we manage to renew our activities every week without spending hours on them.
1) Download our 26 Challenges, to keep you busy for 6 months
Our LDR started with the coronavirus epidemic, in March 2020.
nd even though we were still in our infancy, our LDR quickly became boring.
Both of us at home for months at a time, our conversations and activities went in circles. At that time, My Sweet LDR was just a project and no matter how much we googled for ideas, there was nothing that fit.
So I asked myself the question: How to not get bored in a long distance relationship?
I had to answer two problems:
- Find new activities
- To do these activities in the long term
That’s how I created my 26 long distance challenges, with precise rules that force you to do each challenge on this list, without exception.
2) Download our 7 Days to Break the Routine program
A « one shot » program.
It is best suited for LDR couples who are looking for immediacy and to get out of their comfort zone.
During 7 days, you will receive an email with an original challenge. Each mail answers a specific problem and proposes a solution.
Time difference, lack of the other, sexual fulfillment… each day, you will discover a new way to impress your partner and to fulfill yourself in your LDR.
It’s perfect if your long distance gets boring. For more information on our creation and to download it for free, click here.
3) Do the 105 activities we suggest
Yes, you read that right.
More than 100 activities to try as a couple. 105, to be precise.
All of them can be done remotely.
The best part? We’ve sourced them all with links. They are all up to date. LDR boredom will be a bad memory
You can discover them by clicking here, and say goodbye to routine for a while.
Your problem will change: from now on, you will have the Netflix syndrome.
You’ll have so many choices you won’t know where to start!
That’s it. I’ve just given you two years’ worth of business, if you do one a week.
Those who act are the ones who win
Routine knocks on your door every day. It’s up to you to open it or not.
It’s a bit like dust. No matter how well you clean your house, it will always come back.
I know you are in your comfort zone. That you want to be quiet, sending a few messages every day and enjoy all the benefits that long distance relationships bring. And hope that’s enough.
It will not be enough.
Today, everything is moving faster and faster. You, me, each new generation gets bored faster than the last. You have to take charge and come up with new activities to try together.
When they knock on your door, greet the boredom and routine with a SWAT wrench.
If I have one piece of advice for you, it is to download my list of 26 challenges.
If you follow the instructions I give you correctly, you will get results that will surprise you.
You will end up not seeing the time pass.
Download my 26 LDR Challenges and Activities
One idea done every week
= 6 months of activities
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We are Léo & Kyomi, a French-Peruvian couple in a long distance relationship since 2019. Welcome to this blog entirely dedicated to this way of life.
We decided to create
My Sweet LDR
to help people who want to live their relationship serenely and who don’t know how to do it.
To read our entire story
you can click just here !